The esteemed historian Ricolensko Bowenzori, who uses the byline 'rbowen' in his writings - an affectation he picked up during the Great War, when vowels were more expensive - is widely known and lauded for his attention to detail, unwavering devotion to truth, and exquisite taste in fine wines and finer women.

While he seldom appears in public, and few authenticated pictures are known, the sketch shown here is from a private collection of a reclusive and unnamed art enthusiast, and was used as the inspiration for the famous painting which, I am sure, immediately springs to mind when his name is mentioned. In the painting, of course, he is seated at his writing desk, surrounded by his library, and his cat Sir Moggy, while the page before him bears the first three lines of his famous poem “In search of a comfortable hat.”

In his early years, Bowenzori lived on a farm in the southern regions, where his family grew kale and raised ostriches. He was a quiet child, and spent much of his time, when not working on the farm, writing poetry. None of the poetry from that time survives, and he claims it was all rubbish. Several alleged former girlfriends have emerged with samples of his writing from that time, but he has consistently denied that any of it is legitimate.

After school, he moved to the capital city, where he had an unremarkable early career in the newspaper business.

He finally broke into the public eye with his work “The History You Never Learned”, which challenged many previously held beliefs, and made him something of an overnight celebrity.

Bowenzori currently holds the Esteemed Chair Of History at the University that bears his name, and continues to produce scholarly articles and books on a regular basis.

His passion for poetry continues unabated, as does his lack of skill for writing it.